Attraction is rarely simple or predictable. For some people, it shifts and changes over time in ways that can feel confusing or even isolating. This experience, while not widely known, has a name: abrose#uality.
In a society that often categorizes sexual orientation into rigid labels, discovering that your attractions are fluid can be both bewildering and liberating. Many individuals navigate years of uncertainty before finding the words that fit their experience. One writer’s personal journey—spanning three decades—has helped shine a light on this lesser-known identity, showing the importance of language, representation, and understanding in se#ual identity.
A Personal Story: Emma Flint’s Experience
In July 2024, Metro UK published a heartfelt essay by writer Emma Flint, who shared her own path to understanding her abrosexuality. At the time, Flint was 32 years old, reflecting on years of shifting attractions that left her questioning her identity.
For much of her life, Flint assumed she was a lesbian. At other times, she felt drawn to men. There were also periods when she experienced no sexual attraction at all, leaving her feeling lost and disconnected. “For decades, I felt uncertain of who I was,” she recalls.
Flint explains the emotional toll this confusion took. “I felt like I was adrift at sea,” she says. “Sometimes I also felt like a fraud because my identity seemed to change when talking with friends and family. It wasn’t indecision—I was simply experiencing shifts in my se#ual identity.”
Her understanding of herself changed dramatically when she discovered the term abrose#ual in an online forum. “Finally,” Flint writes, “I felt seen.”
What Is Abrosexuality?
Abrose#uality refers to a type of se#ual fluidity, where an individual’s se#ual attractions change over time. Unlike labels such as gay, bisexual, or heterosexual—which focus on the genders of the people someone is attracted to—abrosexuality emphasizes the shifting nature of attraction itself, rather than the gender of the partner.
Healthline describes abrosexuality as a fluid and dynamic sexual orientation, noting that a person who identifies as abrosexual might feel attracted to people of all genders at one point, then experience periods of low or no attraction, and later feel attraction toward a specific gender again.
In her essay, Flint describes this as loving the person rather than their gender. “It doesn’t matter if my se#uality fluctuates,” she explains. “What matters is the connection I feel with the individual.”
Common Misunderstandings
Despite growing awareness of LGBTQ+ identities, abrosexuality is still frequently misunderstood. People often expect clear, fixed categories for sexual orientation, which can make fluid identities seem confusing or “invalid” to outsiders. Flint recounts how some individuals insist that she “pick a lane” or settle into a specific label.
“I want people to understand that just because an identity is unfamiliar or difficult to comprehend, that doesn’t make it any less real or authentic,” she emphasizes.
How Abrosexuality Can Manifest
Abrosexuality does not follow a single pattern. Experiences vary widely from person to person, and there is no “one-size-fits-all” description. Some ways abrosexuality may appear include:
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Day-to-day shifts: A person may feel exclusively attracted to one gender one day, and experience attraction to a different gender the next.
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Gradual changes: Over weeks or months, attractions may evolve from being broadly bise#ual to being more focused on a specific gender.
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Fluctuating levels of attraction: Some may go through periods with little or no se#ual attraction, only to experience renewed attraction later. These periods are sometimes described as ase#ual phases.
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Long-term evolution: Identity may change over years. Someone may live as a heterosexual person for a decade, and later experience attraction to multiple genders or specific individuals outside their previous patterns.
These examples illustrate the diverse and personal nature of abrosexuality, highlighting that attraction is not always linear or fixed.
The Role of Language in Identity
Flint’s story illustrates how important language can be in validating personal experiences. Many people may feel “broken” or out of place because they haven’t encountered the right words to describe their feelings. Discovering terms like abrosexuality can provide a sense of clarity, visibility, and community.
“Finding the word ‘abrose#ual’ was transformative,” Flint says. “It allowed me to stop apologizing for my changing attractions and to embrace my identity fully.”
Language helps society recognize and respect the diversity of human experience, from sexual orientation to gender identity. By learning about lesser-known terms, individuals can better understand themselves and others, fostering empathy and acceptance.
Abrosexuality in the Broader LGBTQ+ Context
Abrosexuality belongs to the spectrum of LGBTQ+ identities, emphasizing that se#ual orientation is not always fixed. This fluidity challenges traditional notions of sexuality while validating experiences that don’t fit conventional categories.
Just as bisexuality or pansexuality broadened understanding beyond heterosexuality and homose#uality, abrose#uality contributes to a richer, more inclusive dialogue about human attraction. It reinforces the idea that sexual orientation can be complex, dynamic, and unique to each individual.
Challenges and Misconceptions
Despite growing awareness, abrose#ual individuals may face skepticism or pressure to conform to traditional labels. Misunderstandings often stem from societal expectations that sexual orientation must be consistent. People may experience microaggressions such as:
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Being told they are “confused” or “undecided”
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Being asked to choose a label that fits others’ comfort levels
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Facing assumptions that their identity is temporary or a “phase”
Flint addresses these misconceptions, stating, “Fluidity doesn’t make my identity any less authentic. Attraction is personal, and it changes in ways that are natural for many people.”
Personal Growth and Acceptance
Understanding one’s identity—especially when it involves fluid attraction—requires patience, reflection, and self-compassion. Flint emphasizes that her journey was not just about labels, but about accepting herself fully at each stage.
“We’re all learning new things about ourselves constantly,” she writes. “Identity is not static. Growth involves understanding how our feelings, attractions, and desires evolve over time.”
Recognizing and embracing fluidity can also reduce anxiety or guilt for those who feel pressure to conform. Learning that shifts in attraction are valid helps individuals develop confidence in their identity, regardless of societal expectations.
Representation Matters
Visibility of identities like abrose#uality is crucial. Media coverage, personal essays, and social discussions help normalize experiences that might otherwise be misunderstood or ignored. When people see others articulating feelings similar to their own, it fosters connection, validation, and inclusion.
Flint’s story serves as a reminder that representation can transform lives. By sharing personal experiences, individuals can challenge stereotypes, encourage dialogue, and inspire others to explore their own identities without fear or shame.
Building Community and Understanding
For many abrosexual individuals, finding community can be life-changing. Online forums, social media groups, and LGBTQ+ organizations provide spaces for people to share experiences, ask questions, and seek support. Knowing that others navigate similar shifts in attraction helps reduce isolation and encourages self-acceptance.
Communities also play a role in educating broader audiences. As awareness grows, misconceptions fade, creating a more inclusive society where diverse sexual orientations are recognized and respected.
The Future of Abrosexuality
As conversations about sexual orientation continue to evolve, abrose#uality is gradually gaining recognition. Health, wellness, and LGBTQ+ organizations are beginning to include it in resources, educational materials, and research.
Flint expresses hope that abrosexuality will eventually be seen as just another valid identity, rather than a trend or a label to question. “It’s about understanding the complexity of attraction and acknowledging that people are allowed to evolve,” she notes.
By promoting awareness and acceptance, society can foster greater empathy and inclusivity for individuals whose experiences may not fit traditional frameworks.
Key Takeaways
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Abrosexuality is a fluid se#ual orientation, where attraction changes over time without a fixed gender focus.
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Experiences vary widely, from daily shifts to long-term evolution in attraction.
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Language and visibility are essential, helping individuals understand themselves and feel validated.
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Acceptance and community support can reduce isolation and foster confidence.
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Awareness benefits society as a whole, encouraging empathy and inclusivity across diverse experiences.
Conclusion: Embracing Fluidity as Part of Human Experience
Abrosexuality reminds us that human attraction is complex, dynamic, and deeply personal. Emma Flint’s story is a testament to the importance of self-discovery, representation, and the power of language.
Her journey illustrates that shifting attraction does not indicate confusion or uncertainty—it reflects the natural diversity of human experience. By learning about identities like abrosexuality, we can better appreciate the richness of se#ual orientation and support individuals in embracing their authentic selves.
Ultimately, understanding abrosexuality is about accepting change, celebrating diversity, and recognizing that love and attraction take many forms. Whether in media, education, or personal conversations, expanding awareness of fluid identities encourages a more compassionate and inclusive world.